What the f**k is the matter with failure? It’s everywhere under the sun… flavored coffee, anything soy, Domino’s pizza and my relationships, every f**king one. Failure’s always an option, always a choice, like Del Taco and Madam Wu’s pork buns. But I digress.
George lost the Trop. But I needed coffee, bad. I’d been up all night wrestling with six unruly words and a twenty year old busboy I wish I’d had. George was now working the counter at the Beachwood cafe so I drove up the hill for a cup. Since I rarely came up this far, she wanted to know what was up. There was a girl at the counter, beautiful, strong, eating eggs over easy and ketchup-ed hash browns. When George brought her a side of two short stacks, I noticed slung over the girl’s slender arm was a thirty year old M.E. Pentax. As cool as the look in her eyes.
George poured me a coffee and asked, “You bailing on me tonight?” … she was gonna make us a grilled onion and Romano pizza from scratch… and read our cards from a forty year old deck that once belonged to Garbo but got snatched. Now… I could use some direction, a little clairvoyance, any glimpse into my future I wouldn’t shrink from. But I was wary of reading too much into negligible leads… the ones I’d had, had dried up like mist in an August dawn. So I told her, “Yeah… I gotta work, gotta chase down a beer-battered prawn.” My apatite, I could always count on.
And who knows… maybe I’d run into someone.
Rhea.
A Luna Blued
Archive for January, 2011
Off to a Bad Start.
I know the scent of cumin in a tikka masala; I know how much Kim Chee it takes to burn its memory into a night. I can smell Peking duck from half a block down and I memorized every Grand Central chili in one bite. But I don’t know me.
I used to know what I wanted from a day: to see a little beauty, eat cheap and good, avenge my sister and write. Now I wake up as late as I possibly can… I try to avoid the light. I don’t want to see the anger in my own eyes; don’t want to see what everyone knows isn’t right. But it’s a new year and I was hoping to start out strong so I’d vowed to get up no later than 4 hours past dawn. And knock on doors in the light of day… particularly the one in Elysian where one of those two stolen girls was still prey.
Ten-o-five, AM, I was back on the road, Sunset to Alvarado to Arvin east of Avalon. One frightened peek in that back bungalow window and I knew now both girls were gone. And as I looked and the weeds in the yard, and into the room that looked long unused, I wondered had it all been a dream: the angelic visions, the trouble, the girls… all a grand distraction, to make up for letting her out of my sight, to ease this twenty year emotional infection. I’m going with yes.
Think I’ll go get a kalamata and eggplant pizza and see if I can become any less.
Rhea.

